Saturday, December 5, 2009


dearest kitty,



Friday, December 4, 2009

Woodford is goodford

Dearest Kitty,

I have now decided that seeing I address this blog first and foremost as a public form of dairy for which I express my most life threatening issues, I will call it 'Kitty' after my beloved friend and schoolmate, Anne Frank.

It is 1.45am according to Lenovo, my dearest old laptop and I am sitting on the couch upstairs watching 'Nigella Bites' and sourcing out a picture of the fringe I want to show my hairdresser today.
However, this is not all that is on my mind. On the 27th of January commences the most wonderful, FUN, cultural, free spirited, intoxicating (in the best way) event of the year; Woodford Folk Festival. The only problem is that I have to figure out how I am going to get there and who I am going to enjoy these musical festivities with.
Last year I had two wonderful friendlies to share the experience but this year I am in search of someone 18 to join me, or an adult who will allow for me to crash with them.
Although the tickets are far more expensive than I can afford, volunteering is not possible until next Woodford so I must suck it up and pay my way while staying with other fellow fans.
There are so many things to enjoy about Woodford that it actually isn't possible that I am absent from the event, music, dancing, music, comedy, people, POT, and more music... it's all so fantastic.

To anyone out there who hasn't experienced the ultimate in music and folk festivals I urge that you be in attendance this year from 27dec to 1jan. You will not regret it.

After nearly falling to sleep like a billion times while writing this blog I have lost momentum in my rant and have decided to end my entry here. So to all my readers (the 2 of you) please feel welcome to suggest any possible method of entrance and you are all welcome to join me in my endeavour to enjoy Woodford Folk Festival 09/10.

Loveeeeeeee Moniqueeeeeee

Sunday, November 15, 2009


I fear that my life has gotten to the most pathetic point where I actually have no further meaning or gift to give to the world. My presence would not be missed.
My morbid waste of a body would disappear and the earth would inhale as it breathed for the first time since my waste was burnt to a crisp.
The horrid existence which is my life would be no more and people would not have to fear walking down the street and catching a glimpse of the disgusting object which I used to be. They would never shed a tear over it again.
Maybe the world would even be a better place without me. I don't know.
I just want to curl into a ball, die, and become something far more worthwhile in another life. -That's the way it works, isn't it? You get a shit turn, and the next time round is better...?

Thursday, October 29, 2009


today i have eaten two carrots, one orange, two sandwiches, and plain nutella. i feel disgusting ):

Monday, October 26, 2009


Why do we all have friends.
I wish that nobody had friends - it would be soo much easier that way!
You wouldn't have to be worried about who your friends were, you wouldn't fight with them, you wouldn't take responsibility for any of their mistakes, you wouldn't be annoyed by little things that they do AND you wouldn't have to worry about finding people to go places with you, you would go on your own just like everyone else there!
Wouldn't there be so many benefits to not having to have friends.

I know that this sounds terrible and i do appreciate my friends, just sometimes it would be so much easier if nobody had them and their attached stresses in your life...


Tuesday, October 13, 2009


I am a jealous person.

But can you blame me for wanting a little bit better?

Monday, October 12, 2009


Hello, my name is Lucy.

I am Monique's highly attractive friend.

Whenever she is bored or upset she comes over to my house. MMM OKAY.

We have fun watching trashy TV such as The L Word.

She eats all ma food and then we go and buy more food which is oM NOM NOM.


Monique loves ma dog daisy who licks her all the time because she is gross.

WE are going to move out together YES WHEN SHE HAS MONEY

I show her good videos of crap on the internet.




buy me these

buy me these now please. yes, okay.

school mannn

it's just not on.

school is restrictive and crushes unique creativity and imagination.
we need some freedom man.
i have to get away from this place.

Friday, September 11, 2009


do you know what i dislike?...

people who have a talent and don't use it. they just let it go to waste!

art is my passion; i live and breathe it. art is all i have ever been good at and it is all i ever want to do.
buut.. there are heaps of real bum holes out there who are better than me! it will always be this way. and what i don't understand is if they are so good at this, why don't they take advantage of these gifts!???!
most of the brilliant artists we would ever see are hidden away behind some desk at a nine to five job because they didn't want to use their talent!!!
my career will be something in art, it has to be - there is nothing else i want to do. it just upsets me that there are piles and piles of people out there who are a million times better who aren't going to act on their natural talent. mannnnn, if i had talent like that i would be making any go of it that i could! take advantage of the gift, appreciate it. it is yours for a reason.

example a)
creative generation awards for excellence in visual arts and design:
i went to a beautiful night that exhibited the finest art of the youth today. some of the works are absolutely beautiful. and heaps of people there won awards for this - were shortlisted for their creativity and skill.
i was not one of them.
but this does not bother me. what does is the fact that i have a wonderful friend who was shortlisted for some breath taking photography - and she is going to persue a career in journalism! WHAT A WASTE! if i had her talent there would be no doubt in my mind that my future would lie in the area of art.
and so many others out there ended their night the way i did - unsuccessful. and for most, like me, it did not bother them. but i know that so many of those people who did not recieve a mention will end up producing much of our generations art - they will be the face of pop culture in generation y. yet the actual talent of our generation lies with those doing other boring boring jobs.
i stress to all you people out there with a natural talent in some area to persue it - give the people who live in your shaddow a chance to feel worthy of their place. they didn't just make it because the best didn't think it was worthwhile...
i may then be able to find some dignity and hope in my successful and proud future in this industry. i don't want to have someone tell me my work is good if i know that the person sitting at the news desk in the next building is actually sooo much better.

persue your talent people! it is worthwhile!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


dear diary,

sorry i have not written in like five hundred million years. see, the thing is - i am feeling quite wonderful. wooooooooooooooooooooooo, yeah! living life, etc etc.

last night was the fuckin padua formal which was brilllll. they are all wonderful gentlemen xD
however my hangover is a bit of a bitch. djgfdjgfljdfjkdsf.
photos will be coming soon of this night, but for now you shall preview the wicked fire we had going on at the post. this is a rather exciting piccccc in my opinion.

told yoooooooouuu

Monday, August 3, 2009

Dear Diary

I don't know what to do.
I am angry and upset and I don't know why.
I take it out on people at home, I don't take it out on people at school and end up pushing them away. I have very few friends.
I have no motivation to do anything at all, ever.
I hide myself in books and tv to escape reality.
I don't want to break out of this habit. I like living through others.
It's not good for me.
I don't want to stop.

Love Monique

Saturday, August 1, 2009

my life is meaningless

why would you do this to me J.K.Rowling??? WHY
you have ruined all meaning left in my life.
HP is finished and you killed off half of the good characters, TWO OF THE BEST.

you have killed me

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


i am happy.
yes i am.

wellllll tonight was absolutely fabulous because i have found myself completely absorbed once again by the harry potter books. they take over my life and i do nothing else, ever, while one has been set into motion, but heeyyyy - i have no problems with this. school work must suffer for the sake of destroying one of the most powerful wizards of all time!!!!
on a sadder note in relation to the topic, however, i received some rather grim news about the seventh book which i have not read to date. some EVIL EVIL EVIL person managed to tell me the most devastating piece of news and something which i would never have wished to have heard, let alone read! but i shall wait to experience the sadness myself once i venture into the seventh and sadly, final book of the series before i continue to mourn fully at this loss.
and continuing on with my dayyyyy....

a rather gripping episode of my favourite show of all time was watched earlier tonight. i began the show with a great feeling of loss and discontent - however, by the end my mood had lifted A LOTTTTTTT.
for all those who understand without a formal introduction to the show - JULIES FUCKIN BABY IS OKAAYYYYY. - i had convinced myself that she would lose it after the preview following the previous episode and was ready for a major emotional setback. something like that would rock me to my core.
as stated in my first blog - i live through the people in this show and something like that would be way more than i could handle.
i have the emotional range of a teaspoon, as quoted by the wonderful hermoine granger, and i don't think i would leave a state of depression for months.

anywhooooo- this does not apply anymore as all good is restored to the world.
and i am on a complete high, although trying to contain it somewhat to prevent staring and counseling recommendations.

if you would like to know more about my day please feel free to let me know and i can fill you in on the horrid encounter i had with a highly runny nose at about lunch time??
it would be my pleasure..

and now to fill you in on excitement for tomorrow
MY DAAAAAYYY involves a highly exciting trip to the fucking QUEENSLAND ART GALLERY to see the AMERICAN IMPRESSIONIST EXHIBITION *drooooooooooool*
my trip will be brief as it is within the hours of schooling. but i will not complain - any chance to see the beautiful work on display in that red room again. i was drooooling over the paintings.

so now i must depart and continue in my quest to discover tom riddles hidden horcruxes as i read through the sixth of these magical books.



to all of you who read previous blogs (which i am assuming was maybe 1 or two people) just SHHHHH
confrontation is not my style and it is not something i wish to ever discussssssss

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


the picture up in the title of my blog - i took that.
it was part of the process of an assignment which i had to do for my visual art studies.
i enjoyed taking that picture.
i enjoy all pictures - the moments that are captured - the moments that can be remembered and relived- the fact that nothing can change what is going on at that time - the picture is taken - the memory is set.
why can't life just be like a whole series of pictures? why can't the family portrait sitting in my living room be the way that i live with my family - all the time?
why can't the pictures of good times with friends be the only times i spend with them?
why can't i see the images of future careers and men and weddings and houses and pick and choose from the ones i like - and live them out as i see them?

this comes across all so negative, but i'm sure that everyone has these thoughts or longings for something idyllic - whatever the definition of 'idyllic' may be.

seeing i can't live my life out this way, i will just have to settle for going with the flow. it's worked so far and up until the point of being brought back into sad, sad reality (school) today.
my life hasn't been so bad - i have some of those idyllic photos to look back on.
and in the wise words of a mr eric hutchinson:
i will rock and roll, as long as i feel like i'm in control


wierdness tonight

peace ouuuuuuuuutahhhhh!

Monday, July 13, 2009

The Path of my Future

Tomorrow is the first day back of the last semester of school I will ever complete in my entire life.
The pressure that all students face in this last period is absolutely immense - final exams, QCS, QTAC. Everyone tells us that our choices during this time will determine the rest of our life.
All the while, the responsibility they expect us to take on is contradicted by the restriction of freedom in almost every other aspect of life.
Personally, the more pressure that is put upon me, the more I am likely back off. I don't know where I want to be in 20 yrs time - I don't have specific details of my life then.
There are broad aspects which I would like, but I have no calling career-wise. After all, is my career now the only thing which will matter in my life? Is the money which I make at this job all that will matter in my life?
Life skills - social skills, workplace skills. There is no time for the accumulation of these skills anymore with the workload put upon students.
Are these not necessary to go through life successfully as well?

I am dreaming big, I want to make an impression during my lifetime - in what aspect, I don't know. My art, my family, community... there are so many paths which I am yet to explore in my life and my career is only one of them.

For now, I am a 16yr old student with big hopes and expectations for herself. The added pressure by schooling superiors is absolutely unnecessary and I don't see how it could benefit the outcome of my life. I am not going to let the score on a test or end of year result determine anything in my life - if I want something then I will do whatever it takes.

So to all those out there who are really laying the pressure on thick - think about the differences in what we want to achieve in life.

love Monique

Saturday, July 11, 2009

The Reality of TV

I have discovered that my longing to live a full and idyllic life has restricted me from living one at all.
Over the past few years, my love of television has grown into rather an obsession. I will watch anything from the news, to talk shows, to American sit-coms, to childrens shows. I would choose to watch television over doing most things. And I can admit it. But of recent, I have found a pattern in my TV obsessions.
Shows such as Brothers and Sisters and Packed to the Rafters are my favorite on TV, there is nothing I would rather do than watch them. Each of these shows revolves around a family and their relationships with each other.
Upon reflection of the type of shows which I find most attractive I have come to a realization that I watch these shows to escape from reality. Packed to the Rafters has just started season two and the life of this family in my eyes is perfect - the early 20s children and the older parents who had them early. All lovely and open, the relationships they share are not always without their problems but closer to perfect than anything I could imagine experiencing with my own family.
I watch this show in every spare minute I have. If there was only a way that I could replicate the life that I experience in this TV show.
While I am sure that there is a reality for some people, very similar to that portrayed in this show, mine for now, is far from.
I don't know what the point of this blog is, rather just a way for me to vent about my frustrations in a less than perfect life.
I have had a rush of motivation to get out there and create this life for myself. Not that I am sure that this will be possible. Nevertheless, I will give it my best shot and hope for something, anything close to my dreams.
It's not like I am shooting for the stars, after all.
Or maybe the reality is, a sweet family like this can now only be seen on the television shows which I drown my life in.
Either way, I will continue dreaming.
There has to be something close...