Tuesday, July 28, 2009


i am happy.
yes i am.

wellllll tonight was absolutely fabulous because i have found myself completely absorbed once again by the harry potter books. they take over my life and i do nothing else, ever, while one has been set into motion, but heeyyyy - i have no problems with this. school work must suffer for the sake of destroying one of the most powerful wizards of all time!!!!
on a sadder note in relation to the topic, however, i received some rather grim news about the seventh book which i have not read to date. some EVIL EVIL EVIL person managed to tell me the most devastating piece of news and something which i would never have wished to have heard, let alone read! but i shall wait to experience the sadness myself once i venture into the seventh and sadly, final book of the series before i continue to mourn fully at this loss.
and continuing on with my dayyyyy....

a rather gripping episode of my favourite show of all time was watched earlier tonight. i began the show with a great feeling of loss and discontent - however, by the end my mood had lifted A LOTTTTTTT.
for all those who understand without a formal introduction to the show - JULIES FUCKIN BABY IS OKAAYYYYY. - i had convinced myself that she would lose it after the preview following the previous episode and was ready for a major emotional setback. something like that would rock me to my core.
as stated in my first blog - i live through the people in this show and something like that would be way more than i could handle.
i have the emotional range of a teaspoon, as quoted by the wonderful hermoine granger, and i don't think i would leave a state of depression for months.

anywhooooo- this does not apply anymore as all good is restored to the world.
and i am on a complete high, although trying to contain it somewhat to prevent staring and counseling recommendations.

if you would like to know more about my day please feel free to let me know and i can fill you in on the horrid encounter i had with a highly runny nose at about lunch time??
it would be my pleasure..

and now to fill you in on excitement for tomorrow
MY DAAAAAYYY involves a highly exciting trip to the fucking QUEENSLAND ART GALLERY to see the AMERICAN IMPRESSIONIST EXHIBITION *drooooooooooool*
my trip will be brief as it is within the hours of schooling. but i will not complain - any chance to see the beautiful work on display in that red room again. i was drooooling over the paintings.

so now i must depart and continue in my quest to discover tom riddles hidden horcruxes as i read through the sixth of these magical books.



to all of you who read previous blogs (which i am assuming was maybe 1 or two people) just SHHHHH
confrontation is not my style and it is not something i wish to ever discussssssss

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


the picture up in the title of my blog - i took that.
it was part of the process of an assignment which i had to do for my visual art studies.
i enjoyed taking that picture.
i enjoy all pictures - the moments that are captured - the moments that can be remembered and relived- the fact that nothing can change what is going on at that time - the picture is taken - the memory is set.
why can't life just be like a whole series of pictures? why can't the family portrait sitting in my living room be the way that i live with my family - all the time?
why can't the pictures of good times with friends be the only times i spend with them?
why can't i see the images of future careers and men and weddings and houses and pick and choose from the ones i like - and live them out as i see them?

this comes across all so negative, but i'm sure that everyone has these thoughts or longings for something idyllic - whatever the definition of 'idyllic' may be.

seeing i can't live my life out this way, i will just have to settle for going with the flow. it's worked so far and up until the point of being brought back into sad, sad reality (school) today.
my life hasn't been so bad - i have some of those idyllic photos to look back on.
and in the wise words of a mr eric hutchinson:
i will rock and roll, as long as i feel like i'm in control


wierdness tonight

peace ouuuuuuuuutahhhhh!

Monday, July 13, 2009

The Path of my Future

Tomorrow is the first day back of the last semester of school I will ever complete in my entire life.
The pressure that all students face in this last period is absolutely immense - final exams, QCS, QTAC. Everyone tells us that our choices during this time will determine the rest of our life.
All the while, the responsibility they expect us to take on is contradicted by the restriction of freedom in almost every other aspect of life.
Personally, the more pressure that is put upon me, the more I am likely back off. I don't know where I want to be in 20 yrs time - I don't have specific details of my life then.
There are broad aspects which I would like, but I have no calling career-wise. After all, is my career now the only thing which will matter in my life? Is the money which I make at this job all that will matter in my life?
Life skills - social skills, workplace skills. There is no time for the accumulation of these skills anymore with the workload put upon students.
Are these not necessary to go through life successfully as well?

I am dreaming big, I want to make an impression during my lifetime - in what aspect, I don't know. My art, my family, community... there are so many paths which I am yet to explore in my life and my career is only one of them.

For now, I am a 16yr old student with big hopes and expectations for herself. The added pressure by schooling superiors is absolutely unnecessary and I don't see how it could benefit the outcome of my life. I am not going to let the score on a test or end of year result determine anything in my life - if I want something then I will do whatever it takes.

So to all those out there who are really laying the pressure on thick - think about the differences in what we want to achieve in life.

love Monique

Saturday, July 11, 2009

The Reality of TV

I have discovered that my longing to live a full and idyllic life has restricted me from living one at all.
Over the past few years, my love of television has grown into rather an obsession. I will watch anything from the news, to talk shows, to American sit-coms, to childrens shows. I would choose to watch television over doing most things. And I can admit it. But of recent, I have found a pattern in my TV obsessions.
Shows such as Brothers and Sisters and Packed to the Rafters are my favorite on TV, there is nothing I would rather do than watch them. Each of these shows revolves around a family and their relationships with each other.
Upon reflection of the type of shows which I find most attractive I have come to a realization that I watch these shows to escape from reality. Packed to the Rafters has just started season two and the life of this family in my eyes is perfect - the early 20s children and the older parents who had them early. All lovely and open, the relationships they share are not always without their problems but closer to perfect than anything I could imagine experiencing with my own family.
I watch this show in every spare minute I have. If there was only a way that I could replicate the life that I experience in this TV show.
While I am sure that there is a reality for some people, very similar to that portrayed in this show, mine for now, is far from.
I don't know what the point of this blog is, rather just a way for me to vent about my frustrations in a less than perfect life.
I have had a rush of motivation to get out there and create this life for myself. Not that I am sure that this will be possible. Nevertheless, I will give it my best shot and hope for something, anything close to my dreams.
It's not like I am shooting for the stars, after all.
Or maybe the reality is, a sweet family like this can now only be seen on the television shows which I drown my life in.
Either way, I will continue dreaming.
There has to be something close...